Something you might not know about me is that I moved close to 1000 miles away from my parent’s home to start college at a liberal arts school. Not entirely unusual, except that all of my peers are long-gone from this small Colorado town, while I’m still here 6 years later.
Walking around campus yesterday, I finally realized that it was all for something.
I used to be quite the party girl, especially during most of my college years. Ironically, when that was my main goal, my friends liked to take it easy, and when they finally wanted to spend most of their time partying after college ended, I was finally beginning to take a hiatus from all the booze and parties.
I constantly felt like I was bad at being in my twenties and that I shouldn’t be spending my time indoors, going to bed by 10, and generally being #GrandmaChic.
Despite the guilt and my story of “should,” I knew deep down that I was spending my time the right way, that I wasn’t actually being lazy, and that I was definitely experiencing some healing.
It is completely okay to disconnect.
We all need to disconnect from others from time to time, and that has nothing to do with your ability to be a good friend. In fact, you can be a much better friend when you’re not constantly stuck and churning in your own turmoil.
As I found my way walking through campus yesterday, (where I now am employed full-time), I realized that this city and the boredom I faced all brought me to the very moment of writing this blog.
If I wasn’t slightly discontent with where I was living, and if I had constantly been trying to distract myself with drugs, alcohol, and parties, I wouldn’t have realized that I wanted more.
I wouldn’t have looked into personal growth, nor would I have stumbled upon my favorite creative entrepreneurs, and I wouldn’t have had the mental energy to convince myself that this was truly the life that I have been dreaming of.
If you have even a small glimmer of hope that you’re in the right place, or the tiniest sense in your intuition that everything will work out if you are patient, or you run into the strange sensation of contentment, follow it. Lean into it.
Screw the “should”s and the “must”s and the “you’re-not-cool-ifs” and follow your heart straight into your happy place.
I finally understand what people mean when they tell others to “trust the process.” My life may have been unconventional, but I was (and am) truly, truly happy. Of course I still have goals, and still want to strive for more. But I know that I am taking steps, every day, to get closer to those goals.
And I refuse to wait until I get there to be happy.
Trust yourself, love yourself, and do you, boo.