In the past week, I have re-framed my mindset to this: Set It + Get It.
It’s that simple.
What’s important to note is that half the work is in setting the goal itself.
And you know why?
Because we get tripped up in thoughts like this:
“what’s the point of it all anyway? what’s the difference if I just stay where I am one more year? What’s the point of taking a risk when I can just play it safe? What if they make fun of me? What if they doubt me? What if they call me an imposter? I am an imposter… I’m out of my league. I’m not good enough. I’m fine with the way everything is, right?”
…and so on.
We have a flicker of an idea of a goal that we want to achieve, and we don’t even give ourselves time to write the goal down or process it before we convince ourselves to just move on or to stop dreaming.
Achieving goals is like building a muscle but it’s something that we can do. We just have to figure out where we want to go, what we want to do, and connect that bridge from where we are now.
For example, this year, I decided that I truly want to design the holiday season of my dreams. This doesn’t mean spending explosive amounts of money, but it meant creating a space for myself, in my adult home and adult life, to truly feel like I am creating my own traditions and not just playing the role of a child anymore. It’s so nice to give back, to choose who I want to give gifts to, set boundaries for those gifts (i.e. minimalist gifts, gifts under a certain budget range, etc.) so that I’m not left to start 2018 on a stressed and broke note.
I realized that because of family feuds, travel, spending money, and just general chaos, that holidays had always stressed and overwhelmed me.
I never thought that I could make the holidays my own because for so long in my life, it meant sacrificing what I truly wanted in order to make everyone else around me happy.
Deep down, I knew what I wanted, but I felt like I didn’t deserve it.
Because again, as soon as we have a glimmer of an idea of what we truly want, we are bombarded with:
“am I good enough? What does this all mean? Have I proved enough? What if everyone thinks that I don’t love them? What if this blows up in my face?”
As soon as we can let go of the self-doubt, the self-torment, the agonizing self-indulgence, we can finally admit our own goals.
In my case, it was that I wanted a great holiday on my own terms, my way.
Admit the goals. Set it, and get it.
When I talk about setting a goal, it’s about making the decision to stick to that goal and to keep striving towards it every single day. As I said, making it happen was a fraction of the work compared to just setting the goal in the first place.
Once I could admit what I truly wanted (to feel like I am in charge of my life and control over this tumultuous season), it was as simple as setting up a Christmas tree, snagging some gifts I’m excited about, and deciding on some homemade holiday treats to set my new traditions.
Forget your negativity, Set your goals and desires, and Get started on making it all happen.